Media Saturday: Light Amidst Spiritual Darkness

Dear ones, there are times that my curiosity and sinful nature lead me down dark roads but I know Jesus, the God who made the Universe, can bring light to the darkest places. I’m not here to judge your media choices but rather to share a testimony of how God brought me out of darkness.

Walk in the spiritInverted

This is a continual testimony that I share because even though I am a believer, I am still flesh and I stumble often. God is so faithful to draw me back when I stray.

I’m noticing a steady trend in modern media. It’s dark, depressing, and full of death. It reminds me of my life before I met Christ. As a child I was drawn to dark and melancholy things.  The world was a scary place. Before my Dad became a minister he was a drug dealer and we had interesting characters in our homes. I was very sheltered after my Dad became a minister but before I was very unsheltered. I watched a lot of horror movies and the people I hung around were perverse (I’m talking kids at school….little girls etc).  I was interested in the occult and read a lot of dark things. I was raised in Church but the darkness of the world was bigger than the light.

As a kid I had nightmares every night and I had a few demonic encounters. The scariest was when the blinds in my room started moving up and down on their own after I had watched Ghost Busters. The window was shut, the fan was off, and the vents were closed. There’s no explanation except spiritual.  I will never watch that movie again because of that.  I’m not saying the movies alone opened me up to the demonic. I believe my whole situation and the people I was around did. There was a battle for my soul and I know that Jesus stepped in and saved me from spiraling into more darkness. He heard my cries in the night.

Do I have occasional dealings with darkness, depression, and death as a believer? Yes, I slip and fall. I’ve gotten severely depressed before. But there is a big difference between now and before my conversion. Before I could not escape the darkness. It just got bigger. You see, I tried to cleanse my filthiness by hurting myself…slapping myself…choking myself. Every time I would curse I would slap myself. But I couldn’t atone for my sin. I couldn’t see the light. I just got darker.

I don’t remember this completely because I blocked some of it out but my Mom told me what really happened. As a kid, there was a boyfriend of my mom’s that had mental issues from Vietnam etc…He claimed to be a Christian but he was psychotic and tried to hurt her, He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I only have bits and pieces of this memory. But there was a night that he started yelling and saying that we were all hypocrites and none of us Christians. I was not a Christian at the time but I thought I was because I went to church. My Mom was a Christian though. Anywho, I thought I was in the car crying but I was actually outside with him as he held up my arms and pretended to “crucify” me to show how Jesus died while he yelled at us. All I remember was crying and saying over and over “It’s not true”. I was scared to death of Hell. My whole life was controlled by intense fear.

But when I truly met Jesus, there was a peace. It wasn’t about escaping Hell. It was like meeting this person that I had always thought was far away. All of a sudden He was real and loving and Jesus wanted to take me out of the darkness because He loved me.  I couldn’t get out of the darkness on my own but He could set me free if I just let Him.  I just had to chose Him. I couldn’t do it before because He hadn’t come to me yet. The Holy Spirit has to draw a person and He knows when a person is ready to accept Him.

Ezekial drawing

As a believer, I go to Jesus who is the Light and He chases away the darkness. I can’t do it on my own. I just have to fellowship with the Light. There are times that I stumble. Recently, I let my curiosity and sinful nature draw me to a dark and melancholy tv series.  I thought about saying what it was but I believe it’s wisdom to be vague. I’m not here to be your Holy Spirit.

Anywho, I watched two episodes and felt like I had been spiritually slimed. I literally wanted to vomit. The series twisted the Bible like crazy and was very full of darkness and the demonic.  I regretted watching any of the series and I felt that old familiar feeling of fear and darkness. I know that I don’t want to EVER go back to that darkness. God keeps me so I won’t. Still, I must be careful what media I let into my soul. It is a distraction and a tool of the enemy. I confessed to God, and asked that He would help me to run far away from that type of media anymore. I made a promise to myself and Him that I’d not even take a peek at media that has even a hint of darkness like that.

It was a lesson that the enemy knows my weakness and I should be on guard. I don’t want to open myself up to fear and depression again. The times that I have indulged in these curiosities I’ve opened myself up to oppression. I’ve had weeks of waking up in fear each night…at times screaming. Not everyone is as sensitive to these things but for some reason I always have been.  Because I have seen and experienced such darkness and then on the other hand seen God’s miraculous light just chase it away by one name, Jesus,  I know without a doubt the TRUTH of the gospel of Jesus. I’ve seen Him change people that I didn’t think could be changed. I’ve seen him bring peace to my very messed up and OCD ridden mind.

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In  third world countries the spiritual world is very visible in certain areas. Demons are known and worshiped. But I’ve noticed in the U.S.A there is a different kind of spiritual battle. It’s often invisible. We don’t see as many spiritual things here…dark or light. But behind the scenes there is a battle still going on. I see it in the media everyone is drawn too. Have you noticed how the occult is so popular in books and t.v.? It began slowly and has progressed to full blown. Supernatural interest is everywhere.  Spiritual slime…

I’d think that a world in such seemingly chaotic times would want to surround itself with peppy media. But no. Everywhere you turn it’s about death, depression, and darkness. Everyone wants to talk about the Apocalypse..whether by zombies or natural disasters. It’s like people realize that things are getting darker and they have no control over it. The movies are full of that one guy or group that can save us all from the end.  Maybe he’s human or maybe supernatural.

I praise God that we don’t have to rely on a man or monster to save us all. There is one savior for mankind and he’s not a politician.  I praise God that I can’t save myself. I would be the one who trips at the wrong moment or something…sorry Spock, I pushed the wrong button…the Enterprise is going down.  Dwelling on the darkness and imagining how we can magically save the day won’t do us any good.  Worrying ourselves over the news won’t do us any good. Putting all our hope in governments and the kingdoms of men won’t do us any good. One thing I’ve learned from World History is that everybody dies. Man can’t become a god and we can’t live forever.

But I’m telling you that the Kingdom of Jesus Christ transcends this physical life. Now the Bible is clear that one day Jesus will physically return to this earth and make a new Heaven and Earth where He will rule forever in peace. There will be no more death, depression, and darkness. Mankind will be cured of it’s sinful curse.  Until then, I have peace that even if I die I will have God’s light and truth.  I no longer have to walk in darkness.

So I ask God’s help to walk with Him and to run far far away from the darkness that the world swallows up so easily.  The momentary pleasure isn’t worth it. I choose the light and I pray you will too. May Jesus find us all faithful when He returns!

God bless & remember the High King lives! ~Amber Dover

0 comments on “Media Saturday: Light Amidst Spiritual Darkness

  1. Great post. I grew up non-Christian. I come from a muslim home and that is how I was raised. I actually did not see a need for a Savior because I thought that islam was the right religion (YIKES). Anyway, it is God who sought me and the freedom after He saved me is indescribable.

    Sorry about the darkness you experienced as a youngster.

    I agree, best to stay away from movies/shows/books that are dark. I try and live by that old adage, you are what you eat. I try and ‘feed” myself wholesome books/movies/shows though I am not always successful. But I do read a LOT of Christian books. I also spend a lot of time at monergism.com. Now, that is a GREAT site. Another site you might like is gracegems.org

    1. Thanks Tishrei for stopping by :). I praise God that you belong to Him. I agree…we are what we eat. There is a huge difference when I surround myself with Godly media. Music is such a big help.

      When I start to feel soul sick I usually take an evaluation of what I’ve been surrounded by. Have I been spending too much time feeding my flesh? Are there things that need to go in the trash? I find as soon as I immerse myself in God’s word more and listen to Godly music, I start to feel better.

      It’s hard. I know I’m not called to live like the Amish. We really like movies in my family. There are good sites that weed out some of the bad media for you. Plugged In by Focus on the Family is good.

      I can’t imagine being raised in Islam. God is so good that He finds us. Darkness was scary but I know that my past happened for a reason. When it’s really dark, the light seems to shine brighter. I pray our testimonies will show others that Jesus is the light and only hope for salvation. Blessings to you Sister!

  2. Hi, regarding being raised islam, when you are in it, you don’t realize how wrong it is. It’s just what is, it’s the life I grew up in. The hardest part of coming to Christ for me was after the fact. The sadness was coming to the realization that my parents were wrong, deadly wrong. It’s not like they did anything wrong on purpose, it is how they were raised and then how they raised their children. I was born in the U.S. buy my parents were born in the middle east.

    Reading your blog is giving me inspiration to start up my blog again. It’s just sitting there, traffic is still high but I haven’t posted on it in a long time. Kind of been really busy but that’s no excuse.

    Anyway, thanks for the reply. I see you are doing an Egyptian study with your son. I used to live in Egypt when I was a kid. So it’s kind of fun to read along your Egyptian studies. Camels are incredible creatures created by God. But they have a mean side to them, LOL. They like to spit. Yep, they work up a big ole wad and have very good aim. Let’s just say it was rather disgusting to get all that slimy camel spit on me.

    1. I can see that with being raised in Islam your whole life. I had a friend who was raised in the Mormon church and I think she felt some conviction when we spoke. But because she was raised that way and very deep in it, she decided to avoid me. It was very hard losing her as a friend but I had to be honest when she asked me questions about what I believed.

      I’m so glad I inspired you. I loved reading your blog and I hope you start to blog again :).

      We’re doing The Story of the World. So we pretty much began with Creation and are going through time. We’re at Ancient Greece right now. Egypt was very fun. Lol camels sound like llamas. They do look similar…except taller. There are so many places in the world that I’d like to visit if we had money. But they are so hostile right now. It’s like the world has gone crazy. It’s especially scary for Christians. I guess I’ll have to travel through my computer ;).

      God bless ya sister!

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