Happy Valentine’s Day!

In this post: Happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy these videos of two of the stories I read to Michael today: The Princess & the Kiss and Brave Young Knight.

The Princess and the Kiss

Brave Young Knight (just a synopsis)

Hello dear ones! I am so thankful that with God’s help that Chris and I remained virgins until we got married. It was such a beautiful gift and how God intended it. But I admit that I wish I had saved my first kiss for our wedding day. I have friends who have done so and it seemed to stir the passion more. I wish I had not given my first kiss to a boy that wouldn’t matter in the long run. I wish I had not created soul ties by giving my emotions to boyfriends I had before Chris.

I had planned on saving my first kiss with Chris until our wedding but the sneaky scoundrel 😉 (just kidding hun) convinced me to kiss him before he left for basic training. Kissing is fun but it opens up major temptation before your married…especially prolonged kissing. Thankfully my hubby was gone most of our engagement so some of the temptation was removed. But if I could go back I’d save all my kisses for my wedding day.

Purity is a big part of my testimony and how God changed my views on dating when I was a teen. I did not grow up with a healthy model of marriage or courtship. But the Bible and other Christian books helped. I hope to pass the same teachings of purity to my son. I love the great kids books out there that make purity such a special thing. I love how “The Princess and the Kiss” makes a kiss  special  because it really is.

You don’t have to have sex with someone to create a soul tie. You can give bits of your heart through emotional connections and touches. This is coming from a chick who’s going on ten years of marriage. I still regret the boyfriends I had before Chris. I have other wives I’m friends with that feel the same about their past relationships. I’ve heard it’s even harder if you give away your virginity.

I’ve observed many relationships during youth…dating, courtship, those  having premarital sex, those abstaining, those that saved their first kiss, and those that didn’t (like me). I’ve got to say that the most passionate and purest was those that saved their kiss….second to that were those who remained abstinent until marriage.  Lastly, those who had premarital sex had it the worst, even those couples that eventually got married and were each others first partner. Even those who were Christians and life got better. They still had a shaky start and trust issues that reached into their marriages and took awhile to heal. There is forgiveness no matter what. But if you have a fresh slate why not keep it that way? Why not go for the best if you can have it?

I love my life and my marriage. It’s beautiful. I’ve got almost ten years of kissing my hubby on my resume lol. It would not have killed me to save a couple months of kissing before marriage and have kept kisses for our wedding. I have the privilege of looking back at my prayer journals and even my husband’s during our engagement. To be honest I’m a little embarrassed…cause I know that we both caused each other to lust and to lapse in our relationship with God. I’m embarrassed that my husband had to repent on my account. I was so naive that I didn’t understand what certain things did to guys.

I could go on and on about boundaries and certain rules but I don’t want to scare you into legalism. I just want to encourage you, if you’re not married, don’t try to get your toe as close to the boundary line as you can. You can easily fall to the other side…no matter how spiritual you think you are. I’ve known the purest to lose it and fall into regret.  It’s not worth the shame. It’s not worth losing the one you love. And it’s not worth starting a marriage because you “have” to. It’s not worth the distrust. True love guards and protects.

You may think you’re going to marry someone and then find out they are not the one for you. I said this once in a purity message I gave at a youth group. There was a couple there that were about to go to college and you’d think they would’ve got married. Well, not long after they broke up and everyone was shocked. I believe they took the purity message to heart and I’m glad. How heart breaking would it have been for them to give themselves to someone they would never be with again?

Oh, and one piece of advice for the single ladies: if your boyfriend hates your father and tries to keep you away from your friends, if he’s always trying to get physical, and he laughs during the True Love Waits or any purity message….dump him! He most likely only wants sex and will dump you when he realizes you’re not giving it.  😉 Just had to throw that our there lol.

Oh, I’d much rather have learned from books than bad experiences! Certain things you don’t need to learn the hard way….just like I wouldn’t want to put my head under the wheel of a Semi-truck to learn that it’s a stupid idea!

Anywho, I’m about to step off my soapbox. I’m just so passionate about this because how it affected my life and others. I knew of a homeschool couple that were so great but their parents left them alone a lot. Well, they had premarital sex and the girl got pregnant and had a miscarriage. It broke their relationship with each other and with God. They both spiraled into crazy sexual sins and into dangerous life styles. They are adults and from the last I heard they are both still not living for God.

To think….homeschooled kids…kids who went to church. But their parents did not guard the kids’ purity by putting up boundaries. Courtship or just  not letting them be completely alone would’ve protected them. It breaks my heart til this day and I can’t help but be a little upset at the carelessness of the parents.

Teenagers are still children. Parents can’t help much what happens after graduation but while kids are under the roof we can do all we can to prepare and protect them. The best way is to be an example. Single parents…all the above purity advice goes for you as well. I urge you not to let your kids see you give your heart and body to the people you date. You don’t have to be a virgin to maintain a standard of purity as an adult. God’s forgiveness covers the past and he can help you in the future.

Sexual purity does not mean perfection. There are so many other areas in marriage and no one will ever be perfect. A good start helps though. It really does. Marriage is complicated enough with out a lot of baggage.

Lastly, I want to say to you dear one: God made you special and your body is a gift that should be taken care of and protected. Your heart is the same. You are worth the best. Just like the princess in the story.  You’re in my prayers and I know God is writing a beautiful love story for you..whether it’s for marriage of just for being God’s child that He loves.

I read the book  “Because You Love Me” by Max Lucado with Michael. I recommend it for adults too. If you ever wonder why God has certain rules then please check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/Because-Love-You-Max-Lucado-ebook/dp/B008KRXEGC/

And here is the story of Saint Valentine and half of the origin of this loverly holiday!

www.amazon.com/Saint-Valentine-Robert-Sabuda/dp/0689824297/

God bless & remember the High King lives! ~Amber Dover

0 comments on “Happy Valentine’s Day!

  1. A wonderful message Amber. We too waited till marriage but abstinence was a tough road for us due to the temptation kissing opened up. We have been married almost 14 years now and there has been plenty of kissing time! So you don’t miss out by waiting…

    1. Amen sister! My Mama always said that kissing led to having babies. She was right but at the time I was confused. I thought kissing WAS sex! LOL…obviously I got straightened out on that. But maybe her choice of words kept me from trying to kiss before middle school!

  2. By the way, you clearly have a passion for purity in youth – keep on sharing what is on your heart to share with young people. It’s so important isn’t it.

    1. It really is and thanks again for encouraging me :). I’ve had the joy of sharing my purity testimony with two youth groups in the past. I think some were surprised with how raw I got but no one ever disapproved. I think teens are old enough to know the hard truth…especially about modesty. I had girls in the youth group volunteer to hold signs that had pics of Bratz dolls on them. You know, the skanky dolls they sell these days? They show a lot of skin. Anywho, on the back it had what many guys are thinking when they see girls dressed like that. Yeah, one said “easy”…I don’t remember all they said but it was a hilarious but eye opening way to talk about modesty. You should’ve heard the girls gasp and say “ewww” when I told them that immodest dress didn’t just stir up the desires in teen guys but that it also got the attention of perverted old men and people’s husbands. I implored them for the sake of wives everywhere, to help protect our husbands’ eyes! I think I may have even brought up how things like sitting in a guy’s lap can stir up lust. Teenage girls really are naive. As a wife looking back I am so ashamed of the seemingly innocent things I did when I flirted. I had NO clue how guys were wired. I now know why my youth minister got onto me for resting my head in Chris’ lap on a youth trip (I had just graduated highschool). So yeah, I definitely want to keep sharing my testimony..whether on here or in person. I’m going on a missions trip to Belize this Summer (Lord willing) and hopefully I’ll make friends with some of the youth girls. We go to a new church now. I have some cutesy romantic stories I’d like to tell too. God really wrote my love story. It’s had some bumps and all out bloody messes but I know God is still writing our tale. I think we’re just in the war part…every good tale has a battle. 🙂 God bless and love!

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