Hello dear ones! I just saw this awesome movie called Mom’s Night Out. It reminded me that all moms are loved by God and that we are enough. We all have our different ways of being a mother (stay at home, adoptive, working, single, homeschooling etc…). Still, God made us the mother (adoptive or natural) of our kids and no one else can be that for them.
I thought about a conversation I had with some mommy friends a year or so ago. If you don’t know me, I’m a homeschooling mom and stay at home wife. I chose this life and I know God called me to it. This life works for my family and we quite enjoy it. It’s not a perfect life but it’s good. Anywho, so we have a homeschooling group and that’s where I get my social time. It’s nice to be able to talk with other mommies in a similar situation. We are not all the same though. That is a common misconception. Homeschooling moms are diverse just like any other group of moms. So…back to the story.
Well, a new mom had come to the group and my friend and I were getting to know her. I don’t know about you but I’ve observed a few mommy rituals. When a new mom visits we have to feel her out. Does she have anything in common with me? Will she judge me? Will I judge her? Does she appear to have it altogether? Is she struggling? Where do I fit in, around her? So we started talking about our values, our do’s and don’ts of parenting. A couple times we agreed. I’m a liberal conservative (yeah, I know) so I felt uncomfortable on some things. I was at that point where I was feeling like the weird mom. That’s when the confessions broke out.
“I confess. We eat Mcdonalds.”
And then the other moms starting confessing.
“I actually liked Twilight.”
“Sometimes my kids…”
And it went from there. We took a breath and let loose. The walls were down. We were no longer trying to be the perfect mom. We were no longer secretly judging each other’s choices. We were just moms, united by who we are. We laughed and we talked for an hour or two. It was beautiful.
I loved the movie Mom’s Night Out because it shows how moms judge each other and themselves, but it also shows how we can get past our judgements and just embrace one another. It’s such an encouraging movie. Sometimes the “perfect” mom is really struggling and needs friends. Maybe she doesn’t have many friends because their insecurities keep them from hanging out with her. Whether you have one kid or twenty, we are all moms and we all have struggles. It’s ridiculous to compare ourselves because our situations are unique. A mom juggling five kids isn’t any better than a mom of one kid. Just because someone isn’t the natural mother doesn’t mean she isn’t a mother.
I remember a time that I heard someone say that you never really know what it’s like to be a mom until you have more than one kid. It hurt because it’ll take a miracle for me to give birth to another child. I do have two almost adopted twins in Heaven. But as far as raising kids goes, I’ve got one. The Lord has seen fit to close my womb for now, whether that be secondary infertility or wat knot. My struggles are different but I’m still a mom. The mother of three is just as much a mother as the mother of twenty. My mom has two daughters. My sister has a different dad and she came home twice a year. So my Mom knows what it’s like to raise one kid and also to raise two. She encouraged me that they both have challenges. They’re different, not better than the other.
We need to get over thinking that another mom is better or worse than us. I speak this to myself. Amber, just be human. Don’t be the worst mom or the super mom. Just be human and accept that other moms are human too. At the end of the day it is God who does the most parenting. I can’t keep an eye on my child every second but God can. He steps in and smoothes out the rough edges. I can’t and shouldn’t be god to my child or to anyone. I can only be human and that’s enough. God knew I’d be human and that I’d be a human mom. It’s in His plan. So goodbye scarlet letter and goodbye glowing mommy cape. I don’t need either. I just need my God and he says I’m enough.
Here’s Mommy confession # 1 (it’s a picture)
Do you have any confessions? We can be human here. Just keep it clean please :).
God bless & remember the High King lives! ~Amber Dover
Mommy Confessions # 2: http://amberdover.com/2014/05/25/why-we-dont-spank-anymore-a-conservative-mothers-confession/